There are several forms of body art. Body art can be temporary, for example, body painting, or permanent, such as shaping, dyeing, and scarification, tattooing, and piercing. This article will provide some insight into body art.
Body art painting and shaping
Body painting transforms a person into a spirit or work of art; this can include another gender or a sacred place. Emphasizing on the visual appeal of the subject, the protective body paint is what gives it the appeal.
Body shaping is a technique in which to sculpt the body. Culturally defined ideals of beauty have caused people to bind the soft bones of children’s skulls and feet, stretched necks with rings, and removed ribs to make their waist smaller. The most common method today of body sculpting is plastic surgery. Plastic surgery can sculpt and define almost any part of the body.
Skin Dyeing
Henna, is used as a temporary skin dye, in which different patterns and designs are applied to the body. The crushed leaves of the henna plant, when mixed with other natural ingredients, provides a thick, aromatic paste used for painting hands and feet. The olive green, dried out henna powder, mixed with such ingredients as black tea and coffee turns dark. When applied to the skin and left on overnight, it will harden and when pealed leaves a red tone to the skin.
Body art piercing, tattooing, and scarification
Piercing is ornamental as it allows the body to hold certain kinds of ornaments, which are inserted through the skin. The most common parts of the body that are pierced is the face although you will often find ear, nose and lip ornaments. Piercing is often part of a ceremony marking the coming of age. Ornaments might be limited to certain people or worn only on certain occasions
Tattoos are intended to be permanent and the patterns and techniques have varied over the years. The effects of tattooing depend on the country you live in. As an example, in the United States, tattooing is typically looked upon as being rebellious. Tattooing, in the last decade, has become a very popular form of body art throughout the world.
Scarification is much like tattooing, instead of placing a color into the skin with a tattoo needle, the color, or substance is placed into the wound or cut. Once the wound has healed, a permanent mark will remain on the skin.
All of the forms of body art listed above can have adverse effects on individuals. There are health concerns with types of body art. If you are contemplating any of the above procedures, be sure to consider all the risks and facts before making any commitments.
Why do two people love each other? Why do we need someone to love? Why cannot we love ourselves and exist alone? And what is that chemistry that a couple loves each other? Why both should love each other, and no body else? Love is truly a mystery.
The first reason is of course the passion one feels for the other. Call it hormones, mind, heart, emotions or whatever, one falls in love with another person and cannot live without him/her. Physical beauty is not the sole criteria in romantic passionate love. A very beautiful girl can passionately fall in love with an ordinary looking man to the surprise of all. There is something more that is yet to be explored. Ask a lover about why he/she loves her beloved and you will never get a logical answer. Love does not measure qualities, nor sets any standards. Love happens.
Sometimes the love arises out of appreciation of qualities of the other. This love is different than romantic love, but can be equally magnetic. You may get attracted to some persons singing so much that you want to be with him/her at all times. It can be any quality, but it is the appreciation of quality that brings forth this love. In this case the love is passionate love with that quality.
In some cases two persons find so many things alike between each other that they believe they are soul mates. Made for each other, these lovers are bound by the common qualities. What ever may be the reason for falling in love, please fall in love because it is incomparable.
If there is one front-and-forward excuse for infidelity it is: ” I fell out of love.”
This usually means: I no longer feel sexually attracted to you (I’m sexually attracted to someone else, for now, at least.) Or, I need to spice my life with giddy emotional highs and intrigue every so often.
Infidelity has different faces…and different signs and patterns.
Did you know there are 7 different kinds of affairs? Well, there may be more, but after a couple decades of clinical work and research, I’ve identified 7.
And, if you look carefully, you will find that each form of infidelity carries different signs and markers. Know those specific signs of infidelity and you can save yourself much grief.
One kind of affair I write about in my E-book is called, “I Fell out of Love …and just love being in love.”
Here are some signs and patterns you can expect in this kind of affair:
1. Hang on to your seat. This may be some ride, much like a thrill ride at an amusement park. There will likely be many ups and downs, spiced with dramatic flair. Watching your spouse go through his gyrations may leave you somewhat dizzy. He will give his all to this new-found “love” and at other times might find his way back to you.
2. Typically you will struggle with being ignored and feeling rather awful that you can’t provide the “love” this other person seems to provide. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to “love” and your desirability. His affections will obviously be centered on that other person.
3. He may want to tell you about this other person. Not only might he want you to know about the other person he may desire to share with you some of the details of this relationship. He might want you involved. This creates an intense triangle that juices the drama. (Most classical love stories are dramas, complete with a triangle; he “falls in love” with the forbidden or unattainable princess. Often the drama ends as a tragedy - Romeo and Juliet.)
4. Expect some juvenile behavior such as love letters (e-mail), special names, special promises, secrets only for the two of them, etc. Some of these affair relationships are the result of unfinished business from adolescence. Perhaps he was responsible for family or beset by some trauma or internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded him from dating, socializing with the opposite sex, and “falling in and out of love” a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.
5. You may hear the persistent phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” He may truly “like you” and depend on your stability, goodness and understanding. The thought of losing that may keep him connected with you. His fear of losing that which is stable and enduring may conflict with his need to follow his feelings. As well, the possibility of loss may point to the internal emptiness that stirs up very uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. This is part of the roller coaster ride.
6. He may feel very badly about his “inability” to love you and his “inability” not to love the other person. He may express great remorse for the dilemma. He may profess deep sadness for “hurting” you - but, as you know, he has no control. His feelings drive him. His “concern” for you indicates his superficial understanding of relationships. Or, his “concern” for you may be a manipulative attempt to find an easier exit from the marriage.
7. Expect his feelings for the other person to fade. They will fade quickly if this is a pure “I’ve fallen out of love (and just love being in love)” affair. The “romance” of adolescent love affairs start quickly and end as abruptly. If, however, other issues come into play, such as, resentment and/or the inability to say no, you have a more complicated situation that takes longer to resolve.
I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger.
Usually one reports, “falling out of love” and is truly disturbed by this shift. He/she (and this is not merely a female problem!) wants to “recapture” those feelings.
This person has found a “significant other” who has stirred those dormant feelings and this person once again “feels in love.”
They are determined not to “settle” for a less than an ideal relationship, which means, of course, feeling the love feelings.
Here are some Key Points for this kind of affair. (The 6 others are outlined in my E-book.)
- Unfortunately, our culture (movies, songs, romance novels, soap operas, romance comedies) teaches us that this is how it’s supposed to be. “Falling in love” is the norm - the implication being, that if it doesn’t happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong - with you, your spouse or the marriage. A good relationship must first unlearn a great deal.
- The person who was driven to find “that loving feeling” (reminds me of a song.) usually experiences a high degree of guilt and conflict. He/she is often married to a “good” person and the desire to “find that loving feeling” seems selfish (which it is) and immature (which it is). Intuitively (and this person usually has a great deal of intuition and sensitivity) it is known at another level that he/she is not on the right path.
- This person usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is.
- There is little understanding, or perhaps healthy models, of the shifts needed as a relationship matures. For example, “falling out of love” usually happens when the attractors become the distracters. For example: His love for fun and spontaneity, which drew her initially to him, becomes irresponsibility. Her stability and calm, which drew him initially to her, become control.
- The person “looking for love” is actually looking for the ideal, someone out there, who will project back to him/her that he/she is OK. No, more than OK, close to perfect.
- This person needs to be adored, or think another adores him/her, because there is a lack of inner strength and solid identity. The other becomes my world, because I lack a world. Being “in love” is the panacea for my emptiness.
- Sexual intercourse does not need to be a part of these relationships. Sexual activity may indeed END the relationship or at least move it to the point where the attractors become, again, the distracters. The idealized images may be held together by long phone calls, gifts, holding, love letters, e-mails, etc.
- This type of affair often occurs when there is a “lull” in the marriage relationship. The responsibility of raising children, starting and maintaining a career, paying bills, etc. become the focal point for the couple. Romance becomes a foreign word. People are especially vulnerable for this type of affair after the children are in school and/or the oldest child reaches early adolescence. (There are good reasons for this, from a family systems perspective, but I won’t get into that here.)
Tip: If your spouse is struggling with this type of relationship, make sure you hold and care for your self. Your spouse does not have the capacity to do this for you (or anyone) at this point. Yes, you are ok. Her/his affair says less about you and much more about the emptiness within her/him. It is time for you to know you better. Model for him/her what it means to be a person with a core, with integrity, with boundaries, with values, with meaning, with purpose and actively figure out what your needs are, and get them met. Maybe she will ask questions. Maybe she will not. Maybe soon. Maybe later.
For more information on the different kinds of affairs, what causes them, the probabilities of them ending a marriage and what you can do about it, visit my site.
